Get should's off your shoulders

Should's weigh us down and drain our energy. I should work on that project. I should call that friend. I should lose weight. I should exercise. I have discovered that when I say "should" what it really means is that I am only thinking about it, and don't intend to do it - at least not right now. Nontheless, these thoughts keep circulating in my head, and take up time and space in my life. Now, instead of "shoulding" on myself I decide, and you can too.

• Decide if you can do it today. If so, then schedule it, and take care of it today.
• Decide if it can or even would be better accomplished on another day. If it can, then put it on your calendar, and forget about it until then.
• Decide if you want to do it at all. Maybe it is a friend who you no longer have anything in common with. Maybe it's a creative project you started, like scrapbooking, or building something, and you lost interest, or your life just doesn't allow time for it now. Let it go.
• Decide if what you think you should be doing are "should's" that other people have placed on you. You should volunteer for a committee, or bake something, or organize trip, and so much more. You don't have to please everyone, and you can say "No." If you feel like you have to say more, just say "No, I can't." Let it go.

I have found that when I change "shoulds" to decisions, I have lifted a heavy weight off of my shoulders. I have more energy, and a clearer focus for the things I decide to do.

© 2009 Organized Enough® LLC

Organizing and Productivity Coaching for ADHD Students
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